a short while ago the Lord's friends gathered around to hear Him
speak of great and wonderful things. The things of God, eternal
hung on every word, savoring it, digesting it. Now, they are gone
alone remain, sitting at His feet. Like a delicate fragrance, the
His voice seems to linger in the air. I breath in the essence of
presence and sigh. It's good that I should be here; I want to stay
For a moment He shuffles in His seat and I fear that my Lord is
leave. My heart sinks until I realize He is leaning forward and
His hands to me. All at once the child in me comes alive as
Jesus lifts me
to His lap and cradles me in His arms. Tears of joy fill my eyes
overflow, cascading down my cheeks. I weep softly and bury my face
folds of His robe as His strong arms close around me.
Who am I that the Lord should hold me so
tenderly? Did He hear my
anguished cry for more of Him? Had He peered into the depths of my
dug through the sin and deeply rooted pride and greed and actually
some good buried there? Is there any good in me? I am still so
learn, so quick to fall. My reasoning weaves a maze through my
mind as I try
to comprehend. As Jesus draws me closer to Himself, a thread of
the woven maze in my mind and I understand. Jesus holds me not
because of my
goodness, but His; not because of my love for Him, but rather,
His great love for me. My thoughts become a blur, struggling to
is unimaginable for the human mind. He is able to do exceedingly
abundantly more than I think or imagine. My Lord and my God loves
savor this delicious morsel of truth as He gently cradles me
in His strong arms like a dear beloved child, and holds me close
to His chest.
A favorite Scripture from Isaiah comes to mind:
"You are mine, you are precious in my sight and I
love you." I ponder this, these words meant for me as well.
As I listened to the Savior's heartbeat, He
also was listening to mine.
What I couldn't put into words He heard from the cry of my heart.
for Him. My love for Him. My longing to be with Him. And the
sorrow I felt for ever having done anything that put a distance
beloved Jesus and I. For a moment He stops rocking me and I can
warm breath on my forehead. He tenderly says, child, look at me. I
reluctant to look up because I know that my eyes will meet His.
What I have
longed for, now suddenly fills me with dread. I fear what He will
see in the
face of this unworthy child. His fingers are beneath my chin and
my head until my eyes meet His. What I see is more beautiful than
express. In His eyes there is an ocean of love, deeper, wider, and
than all the world can contain. His eyes are the color of mercy.
For a moment I feel as if I am
little more than an ant at the foot of the cross, just beginning
comprehend His love and sacrifice. The King of all the universe is
into my eyes and communicating His love to me.
Jesus' hand is warm against my face. He cups my cheek
and wipes away my
tears with His thumb. God's thumb, wiping away my tears. He holds
firmly for a moment and looks deep into my eyes as if to say, this
important, listen to Me. His eyes seem to plead with me as He
wants me to understand and believe it. As His eyes fill with
tears, He says,
"This is why I did it; so I could hold you and love you for