Let me begin by saying that sharing my life story or testimony is scary. 
Being real and believing that the past is covered by Jesus' blood is what 
makes this happen without fear. It is my prayer that my lessons of God's 
love and forgiveness will penetrate others and that anyone that is from 
my past reads this and understands that deliverance and peace is given 
to me through Jesus and is available to you also. 

Growing up on the "Mainline" in Wayne, PA, was the setting for the years 
of my life as a small child. I was raised in an upper class family, with 
both parents home. My father was a jazz drummer and our heritage was 
from "Scheidt Beer". Mostly, I have memories of parties and dining out 
at the fancy restaurants as a family. Life was good, as far as a little 
girl could see. 

Ten years went by and the announcement was made that my parents were 
divorcing. My mother, brother, and I went from riches to pennies quickly. 
In my mothers depression, she would make a choice that would change our 
lives forever. Without getting into deep details, this choice would 
invite drug abuse, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and 
physical abuse into our lives for years to come. 

Through these years, I grew into a controlling, defensive, people pleasing, 
insecure, hard to confront, co-dependant, would not pursue sex, 
perfectionist, shame based stoned and drunk person behind a smile and 
a laugh. Bottom line, I was a mess. I knew I had problems and I would 
seek professional help that never worked. Instead, I would seek anything 
that I thought could fix me. That would only lead to more pain in my 
relationships. Thirty fours years went by, one failed marriage, three 
children (my daughter is in Heaven now), four step children, one wonderful 
secure relationship with Jere, and soon I would meet Jesus! 

Once a week, I would clean a home that would be playing WDAC, a Christian 
radio station. While cleaning on those days, I would hear God's word and 
music. A couple of months later, the Lord knocked and I answered. 

He was the answer I was looking for. I could not believe someone so great 
loved me. I was dirty, an addict, sick, and needed love. When I showed 
up at the cross, I knew that I had a lot of problems. But, I had no clue 
what my problem was. 

One day, I shared my new life with the lady I cleaned for and asked her 
for help answering my questions. She had a tape series titled "The Root 
of Rejection", by Joyce Meyer. She asked if I would like to listen to it. 
I responded, "Oh, I do not have a problem with that". 

When I was done listening to that, the Lord showed up in such a way that 
I will never forget. All my problems were rooted in rejection and He 
was giving me Beauty for Ashes through Him. In that moment, I learned 
that God hates injustice and wrong doing of evil people, and that He 
would restore and protect me. But, I had a responsibility to forgive 
those people that hurt me and let Him deal with them. So, I did. 

That was hard because I wanted to blame those people for those lost 
years and my problems. I had a choice to believe His word and His 
promises and to believe that I was now forgiven for years of living for 
the devil ... that the blood of Jesus covered all of my past and sins. 
That God the Father, my Father, loves me no matter what. 

I made a choice and now I'm free. I keep falling into the arms of the 
Father. He is the only one that will never abuse me or reject me. 
But, I do know that He will discipline me in love. Some say that they 
fear God, the Father, because of the raw deal their earthly fathers 
dealt them. But in my case, I welcomed the much needed love that He 
offered me through His Son, Jesus. 

Isaiah 61 
Psalm 27:10 

These are my lifetime scriptures. 

Let me end with saying that you do not have to be abused to experience 
rejection. We will encounter it, sometimes, daily. People will always 
hurt us. Do not be so blind to think that they will not. Do not put 
your faith in people because they will always let you down. He will not. 
I learned that I went through pain, with Him, to help others see who He 
is. He is the Deliverer. So, let Him deliver you from whatever bondage 
you have. That is how we can show the world that He is Alive. Open the 
wounds and put a Christ Aid on it. 


I love you, Jesus. 
~ by Heather Mendenhall ~