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God Never Gives Up

  

I first gave my life to Jesus when I was eight or nine. I was at a revival in a small town in Wellsville,
Kansas. I went with a friend that I didn't know very well. I guess my Mom let me go to get me 
out of her hair for a while. I was a child of divorce. I was not raised in a believing home and 
frequently Christianity was mocked and made fun of. Unfortunately, it didn't last more than a week. 

In high school I became involved in Young Life and again gave my life to Christ. By this time I was 
sexually active and had been so since I was 13. I also was drinking some alcohol and smoking pot.
I got involved in a Bible study and going to meetings every Wednesday night. I also joined a group 
at the high school and we got together over the lunch hour. I didn't change my life; I just did a lot of 
reading and praying. I can remember praying for God to let me live until I got married and then I 
would change and become a more responsible Christian. 

When I was nineteen I got married to a man I knew for only nine months. I became pregnant four 
months later and tried to get my husband involved in church. We tried a few different denominations, 
but nothing felt right and my husband was more interested in dungeons and dragons, the role playing 
game; We were separated and eventually divorced within three or four years. 

I eventually totally turned my back on God and by the time I met my current and second husband, I
tried to convince him and my best friend that God was not real and that everything was "new age".
Energy could solve everything and reincarnation was true to me. My husband and I attended the 
Catholic Church and were married in it, but within one year of marrying, we were no longer involved.
I supported pro-choice and any other feel-good cause that came along. 

God never gave up on me and occasionally I would feel His pull, but I always ignored it. I was working
as a nurse on a cardiac unit and can remember sitting in a room watching telemetry (heart rhythms) for
patients we were monitoring, and trying to convince the other tech that God was not real and there was 
no way the Bible could be true. I am afraid I might have been to convincing, but I pray not. I was so stupid. 

I went back to a Masters program to become a nurse practitioner and was placed with my family doctor
for clinicals. He is a Christian and the office frequently prayer together. We frequently spoke of God and 
salvation through Jesus. At that point I lied and said that I was a Christian. I think maybe I thought I was. 

After I graduated, I moved to the same community that I was doing clinicals previously. After a year we 
began attending church in the area at a Baptist church. This was very different than anything I had ever 
done before. They taught straight from the Bible and there were no gray areas. I began teaching Sunday 
school to the preschoolers and helping with the middle and high school youth for all youth events. 

I frequently heard testimonies and several times prayed the sinners prayer in my head. I began reading my 
Bible frequently and applying it to my life. I went on a youth ski trip to Colorado last winter, January 2000 
and I think that is when I made my serious decision that I needed to give my life to Christ. I was somewhat 
surprised that He would still have me! I was baptized on December 24, 2000 and have tried to live my life 
fully for Christ since that time. What was even better was my eight-year-old daughter was baptized at the 
same time and it really was neat to see her receive Christ as a child, rather than being stubborn and stupid 
as I had been. 

I currently work in a Christian doctor's office that has been through a lot of change. We have lost all of our 
original providers and now it is up to me to keep the Monday morning prayer going. I am glad that God 
allowed me to work in a Christian office over the last three and a half years as it really helped my growth. I 
know that I can pray with patients and that frequently their spiritual health is in greater need than their 
physical health. 

God does not want to give up on any one of us and will continue to knock until we open the door. We have 
to make the first step and admit that we are all sinners. "For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" 
"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23. 

If anyone does not know the Lord personally I pray that they would pray the sinners prayer and mean it. 
"Dearest Heavenly Father, I have sinned against you and I am truly sorry. I want to turn from my life of sin and
have You, Jesus Christ, come to live in my heart forever. Please guide me in all that I do and may Your will be
done in my life to help me grow in your Word. Thank You, Amen. 

Jenny Miller

 

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