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My Angel: In The Twinkle of An Eye


In 1994, after several years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive a child 
naturally or by the help of infertility drugs, my doctor recommended I have 
a outpatient radiological procedure done to see what my chances were of 
becoming pregnant. I was very nervous but held on to the hope that my 
reproductive system would allow me to become pregnant. It just HAD to; it 
was my lifelong dream to become a mother. 

After an hour of agonizing tests, my doctor delivered the crushing news to 
me. He said conceiving a child naturally would not be possible. He 
suggested that my husband and I considered adoption or possibly invitro 
fertilization. I was devastated. My body was wracked with pain as I was 
escorted into the small dressing room where my clothes had been left. I 
sobbed uncontrollably as I kept hearing the doctor's last words to me 
repeat again and again. I felt that I needed to get dressed and get out 
of that hospital - I needed to call my husband to tell him this horrible news.

With tears streaming down my eyes, I grabbed my crumpled clothes that sat 
on a chair near the only door that served as an entrance and exit in this 
small room. In the back corner of this room was a small restroom equipped 
only with a toilet and sink. This tiny restroom appeared to me as a safe 
haven where I could sob and beg God for a reason why this was happening to 
me. I slowly began to dress as I continued to cry; my outbursts took shape 
in the form of ocean waves - just as one subsided another began to rise. I 
needed to get out of this place. As embarrassed as I was by my emotional 
state, I knew that I would not find resolution within the confines of that room. 

Just as I opened the door to this tiny restroom, a woman stood there 
with a sympathetic look and extended arms. She then said to me, "You do
not know me, but I think you need a hug". I never got the chance to pull 
away from this kind stranger; she enveloped me with strong loving arms 
and caressed my head as I let the pain I felt come bubbling to the surface. 
I felt no shame; only comfort by this woman of a middle-aged, somewhat 
wrinkled appearance. I suddenly felt compelled to tell her what I had 
learned and remember her taking my face into her hands as she asked, "Do 
you believe in God?" I told her that I did, but I couldn't understand why 
this was happening to me. 

I have always felt like I was put on this earth to be a mother. I continued 
to cry as she explained that many people have a purpose in life and to 
think of all of the children already on this earth that have no home, and 
that God has a plan for all of the parentless - children and childless - 
couples. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "God has a plan for
you, too.". With that, she gave me one last embrace and went into this 
bathroom that I had just occupied. I went to the chair nearest the door 
exit to gather my shoes that had been left under it.

A very peaceful feeling suddenly came over me as my tears began to 
subside. I began to feel a little bit stronger and was beginning to think 
more clearly. That kind lady gave me the strength to get through that 
horrible day. I waited patiently for her to exit the restroom. I wanted 
her to know that I appreciated her comfort and compassion for a complete 
stranger. As I waited for her, I noticed the time by a clock on the wall 
and realized that I needed to get home. I still needed the comfort of my 
husband's loving arms and encouraging words. I decided to knock on the 
bathroom door to thank her, hoping it did not seem rude. There was no 
answer. I knocked again, but there was still no answer. I then began to 
worry about her (unsure of what medical condition prompted her to have 
tests run in the first place), so I reached for the door knob and noticed 
that it was not locked. I opened the door, but the kind woman was not in 
this little room. She was nowhere to be found! 

I stared in total disbelief for what seemed like hours. I knew immediately 
that I had been touched by an angel's presence. She was specially appointed 
to save me from despair that hopeless October day; she needed to remind me 
just how present God's love is at all times. I have always felt so incredibly 
special for witnessing this miracle. 

That day was the catalyst in helping me improve 'faithless' areas of my 
life. I began taking positive steps to improve the quality of my life by 
thanking God for every little blessing HE has bestowed upon me. Just as 
my husband and I were in the process of being interviewed by an adoption 
agency, I discovered I was pregnant. In 1997, I gave birth to a incredible 
little boy, whom we named Nolan. He is the light of our lives. He is another
miracle that God has chosen for us to receive. Not a day goes by that I do 
not thank HIM for Nolan. Not a day goes by that I do not see my "angel" 
somewhere amidst the twinkle in my son's eyes. May God bless each of you 
as powerfully as He has me. 

By Shawn Sheppard


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