In 1994, after several years of unsuccessful attempts to conceive a child
naturally or by the help of infertility drugs, my doctor recommended I have
a outpatient radiological procedure done to see what my chances were of
becoming pregnant. I was very nervous but held on to the hope that my
reproductive system would allow me to become pregnant. It just HAD to; it
was my lifelong dream to become a mother.
After an hour of agonizing tests, my doctor delivered the crushing news to
me. He said conceiving a child naturally would not be possible. He
suggested that my husband and I considered adoption or possibly invitro
fertilization. I was devastated. My body was wracked with pain as I was
escorted into the small dressing room where my clothes had been left. I
sobbed uncontrollably as I kept hearing the doctor's last words to me
repeat again and again. I felt that I needed to get dressed and get out
of that hospital - I needed to call my husband to tell him this horrible news.
With tears streaming down my eyes, I grabbed my crumpled clothes that sat
on a chair near the only door that served as an entrance and exit in this
small room. In the back corner of this room was a small restroom equipped
only with a toilet and sink. This tiny restroom appeared to me as a safe
haven where I could sob and beg God for a reason why this was happening to
me. I slowly began to dress as I continued to cry; my outbursts took shape
in the form of ocean waves - just as one subsided another began to rise. I
needed to get out of this place. As embarrassed as I was by my emotional
state, I knew that I would not find resolution within the confines of that room.
Just as I opened the door to this tiny restroom, a woman stood there
with a sympathetic look and extended arms. She then said to me, "You do
not know me, but I think you need a hug". I never got the chance to pull
away from this kind stranger; she enveloped me with strong loving arms
and caressed my head as I let the pain I felt come bubbling to the surface.
I felt no shame; only comfort by this woman of a middle-aged, somewhat
wrinkled appearance. I suddenly felt compelled to tell her what I had
learned and remember her taking my face into her hands as she asked, "Do
you believe in God?" I told her that I did, but I couldn't understand why
this was happening to me.
I have always felt like I was put on this earth to be a mother. I continued
to cry as she explained that many people have a purpose in life and to
think of all of the children already on this earth that have no home, and
that God has a plan for all of the parentless - children and childless -
couples. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "God has a plan for
you, too.". With that, she gave me one last embrace and went into this
bathroom that I had just occupied. I went to the chair nearest the door
exit to gather my shoes that had been left under it.
A very peaceful feeling suddenly came over me as my tears began to
subside. I began to feel a little bit stronger and was beginning to think
more clearly. That kind lady gave me the strength to get through that
horrible day. I waited patiently for her to exit the restroom. I wanted
her to know that I appreciated her comfort and compassion for a complete
stranger. As I waited for her, I noticed the time by a clock on the wall
and realized that I needed to get home. I still needed the comfort of my
husband's loving arms and encouraging words. I decided to knock on the
bathroom door to thank her, hoping it did not seem rude. There was no
answer. I knocked again, but there was still no answer. I then began to
worry about her (unsure of what medical condition prompted her to have
tests run in the first place), so I reached for the door knob and noticed
that it was not locked. I opened the door, but the kind woman was not in
this little room. She was nowhere to be found!
I stared in total disbelief for what seemed like hours. I knew immediately
that I had been touched by an angel's presence. She was specially appointed
to save me from despair that hopeless October day; she needed to remind me
just how present God's love is at all times. I have always felt so incredibly
special for witnessing this miracle.
That day was the catalyst in helping me improve 'faithless' areas of my
life. I began taking positive steps to improve the quality of my life by
thanking God for every little blessing HE has bestowed upon me. Just as
my husband and I were in the process of being interviewed by an adoption
agency, I discovered I was pregnant. In 1997, I gave birth to a incredible
little boy, whom we named Nolan. He is the light of our lives. He is another
miracle that God has chosen for us to receive. Not a day goes by that I do
not thank HIM for Nolan. Not a day goes by that I do not see my "angel"
somewhere amidst the twinkle in my son's eyes. May God bless each of you
as powerfully as He has me.
By Shawn Sheppard