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The Wanderer

  

I was born at St. Joseph’s hospital in Bangor, Maine and raised until the age of 6 in Milford, Maine. Raised 
from a very faded Catholic environment until I moved to LaGrange, Maine at the age of 6 with my father,
mother and older brother. This was when we started attending the LaGrange Community Baptist Church
in LaGrange, Maine. 

I was Involved in many youth programs such as Weeblos, Cubsouts as well as various church youth activities. 
Some of those activities included bonfire ice-skating, roller-skating, church picnics, church softball, snow sledding 
and Christmas caroling. Although the majority of those years were filled with school, church, chores & homework.
We had dishes to wash, rooms to clean, 3 horses to water & feed, a huge lawn to rake and push-mow, a large 
driveway to shovel, a couple acres of garden to tend and tons of wood to chop, lug & stack. Of course, my 
favorite hobbies were climbing trees, building & jumping bicycles and digging for antiques—mainly bottles. 

I was led to the LORD at the age of 7 by 2 men, Jim & Jerry (with their guitars in hand) during a Singspiration at 
the LaGrange Community Baptist Church in LaGrange, Maine. I started attending "The Boy’s Brigade" (boy’s 
youth group), at our church and began to grow in the LORD in my young life in ways I had never imagined. One 
of the leaders of the Boy’s Brigade was a strong Christian man whose son was a good friend of mine. I remember
their family being such a major influence in my young Christian life. They definitely had a lot to do with my becoming 
a Christian, watching as they were constantly in prayer, joined hands for mealtime prayers, listened to Christian 
radio, played and sang for the LORD, watched very little television and held devotions every night! There were 
also many others, including my mother, aunts, uncles, pastors, my good friends at Bangor Christian and other 
family and friends who were major Christian influences as well. Then, as you will see in this testimony, my walk 
down the "worldly path" began in my teenage years—when my parents divorced.

We lived next door to our church’s parsonage, so we had quite a few run-ins with the pastors and their families. 
This was such an encouragement—going to church, not only because the people were so friendly, but because it 
was a time when I could escape some of the discouraging things going on at home. 

Our father often abused my brother and me, physically, before our teens. Although this was never called abuse 
back then, that’s what it appears be in the present. He would not be abusive in other ways nor to anyone else,
however, he would say things to me that had a long-lasting effect—such as "Your stupid", or "why don’t you go 
play, that’s the only thing your good at anyway". I never realized how much those few words would have such 
an effect on my adult life—let alone in my younger years. I remember being so upset that, on a couple of occasions,
while alone in my room—I had put a razor blade to my wrist and also attempted to inject poisons into my veins 
from an old science experiment kit. I used the syringes I had found in my brother’s closet where he kept a few 
razors, Turkish tobacco, cigarette papers and a few other miscellaneous "troubling" items. 

You see, my brother couldn’t tattle on me because he would have wound up disclosing a part of his life that he 
didn’t want anyone knowing too much about. I was usually forced to keep my mouth shut and did a pretty good 
job of it! On the lighter side of things, I usually wound up injecting my mother’s plants instead. She had always
wondered why they kept on dying. All she could do was laugh when I told her—just a few years ago—why they 
were dying all of the time. But I never told her my thoughts at the time. I tried not to bother her with my troubles
because I thought she had enough of her own. This was probably one of my biggest mistakes. I should have vented 
more often; she probably needed to vent as well. I remember many a days crying on each other’s shoulders during 
some very difficult times. I think that’s one of the main reasons for drawing closer to my mom, because I could talk 
to her without fear of being punished for being honest. While my father had instilled an excellent work ethic in my
mind, my mother was busy mending my heart. Both have shaped my life into what it is today. I am a hard worker—
or so I’m told and I have an unconditional love for people and want to help in any way I can.

At times, my presence seemed to bother my father. When I sought out his instruction, I was often pushed away. This
still affects me in my social life; however, the LORD has started to pull me out of the corner I’ve been hiding in. I know 
that Dad also had a lot of love in his heart, but had trouble presenting it without being around family or friends. He 
would be so different at home, a totally separate personality. Our mother, quite often, would defend us from 
"Whoopins" by keeping information away from him that she felt might make him "Blow up". On a few occasions we 
were told of the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father. Back when he was a boy, these things were a common,
everyday occurrence. Often it was done without mentioning of the word "abuse" and without any thought as to how this
may effect other people down the line. Somehow, when I would hear of the way he was treated, this would alleviate 
some of the negativity I had towards him and the way he treated me. I was told that Dad would also have flashbacks
from Vietnam—where abuse, torture and many more things were a common occurrence. He struggled with memories 
from his time there and (recalling more recent conversations with him); he had trouble seeing reality during those times. 

I should mention that my father has apologized for everything he has done and we have drawn much closer over the 
years. Of course I have forgiven him, as our Father has forgiven us! But the LORD is still working to make our 
relationship what it ought to be! 

Later in life, I learned that at the age of 6, I fell—head first—down about 20 stairs and onto a cement floor. I was 
knocked unconscious and stopped breathing. It was then that my father breathed his God-given breath of air into 
my lungs and brought me back to life. I feel God also used these things in my life, to strengthen me Spiritually and 
helped me to notice more of the positive aspects of my father’s life instead of thinking entirely negative. So please 
do not think that my father was ALL bad, because there were a few good things that by far out-weighed the bad!

I also stared death in the eyes when, as an infant, I had suffered a severe allergic reaction. At the age of 7 I was 
hospitalized with double pneumonia and was breathing on ¼ of a lung. However, I now realize that this was all 
part of God’s plan for my life. 

I rededicated my life to Christ at age of 12-13, because I didn’t understand the meaning behind the Trinity. I didn’t 
know that God the Father was also God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I do not really remember anyone
explaining this to me and as I grew in the Lord in other ways, I was finding this to be a very important part of 
knowing God! My Sunday school teacher explained this all to me and I was baptized in October of 1985, at the
Howland Baptist Church by Pastor Leland Brown. We didn’t have a baptismal tank and the water was freezing 
that time of the year.

When I was a freshman in high school, my parents divorced and our pastor left the church. I flunked in just about 
every subject that year at school and I started smoking cigarettes. After almost 6 months after the divorce my father 
called my mother and she told me he was going to put me into a Christian school. For whatever reason I’m not too 
sure, but I do know that God knew what was in his heart and took charge of the situation. I’m sure that my mother 
also played an important role in decision process, although I’m not sure exactly what that was. 

So God made it possible for me to go to Landmark Christian Academy in Bangor, Maine my sophomore year through
my junior year in high school—yes I was signed up as a sophomore! Again, I’m not sure why I was not going back 
to my Freshman year, but I feel that God took charge of the situation and I did really well at Landmark. I was even 
able to play Soccer & Basketball for the next 3 years. By the end of my junior year at Landmark, the school’s 
financial situation was not good, so it closed to the upper classmen and I was sent to Bangor Christian High School 
where I graduated in 1990. My senior year was a blast! I became President of the chorus, made the All-States and 
made up all of the work I skipped during my freshman year in public school. The LORD allowed me to make up 
these credits/subjects, from my freshman year, in fewer than 3 weeks. 

The only differences I really saw between Christian school and public school were the teachers, Bible class and the 
learning materials. Everything else was about the same as in public school…. Smoking, drinking, sex, drugs—
Peer Pressure! 

Having been involved in chorus I did quite a bit of singing, but never sang much…FOR the LORD. However, I would 
often sing alongside Paula Dunn, (now a Christian music artist on WHCF in Bangor), and she would often set me on 
the right track and encourage me with words and song! The "going-away" song that we sang at our senior banquet 
will forever be implanted in my mind. It was called, "We’ll be together Forever". 

After graduating high school, I tossed around the idea of becoming a State Trooper, so I went to the State Police 
barracks in Orono, Maine to see what I needed. The answer was 4 years experience as a security officer, this, or 
that or the "U.S. Coast Guard". So I went to bootcamp in Cape May, New Jersey for 8 weeks and was stationed
in Cordova, Alaska for about 2 years aboard a 180’ buoy tender, (the working class fleet of the Coast Guard). One 
of the 1st Aids to Navigation we worked on was Bligh Reef Light, after the Exxon Valdez oil tanker ran aground 
there. Having been up and down the Aleutian Chain on numerous occasions, we would often stop into all of the 
small town ports and not finding much to do in these secluded areas, we would often go to the bars, drink and often
wind up in trouble. Of course we hiked, biked and fished quite a bit, but the nighttime was the hardest to manage 
our boredom. The crawlers came out at night!

I was severely depressed, having been away from home and family for so long, that I turned to a life of alcoholism. 
Eventually this also led to the abuse of drugs and I often wound up in some horrifying situations that I believe the 
LORD used to rid me of them. I believe that He also used times such as these to change my life. Ultimately, the 
LORD used my wife and her little girl to set my life on track. We married, in September of 1994 and I adopted her
daughter. My wife had a miscarriage and a few years later we had another healthy baby girl. 

On another positive note, God made it possible for me to finish out my Coast Guard career in Eastport, Maine as a 
Maritime Law Enforcement Boarding Team Member. I was honorably discharged after serving 4 years active duty
in Alaska, Oregon, Hawaii, The Bering Sea and Maine. Then, as if to prove that I was not "stupid", I went on to 
become a Dental Assistant, "Your Friendly Wal-Mart Photographer", a Carpenter’s Assistant and an Emergency
Medical Technician. We are now members of the First Baptist Church of Harrington, Maine. I currently work as a 
Computer Technician/ Aquaculture Technician (Assistant to Site Manager) for Atlantic Salmon of Maine (Fjord 
Seafood) in Milbridge, Maine where we cultivate salmon on the ocean—between two islands. I am also in the process
of getting my EMT license back that I let go a few years ago so I’m employed by the town of Cherryfield and ride 
with Cherryfield Ambulance in Cherryfield, Maine. So as you can see, the LORD has a plan. He has bounced me 
from job to job and from one place to another, but for good reason! 

I believe that one of those reasons was when I was just home from EMT classes when our youngest daughter, while
just a baby, had a seizure—stopped breathing and became cyanotic. I was able to give her the God-given breath of 
life into her lungs—just as my father had given me—years ago. I believe this was what God sent my way to allow
me to forgive my father. Does God work mysteriously or what? My oldest daughter was probably whom He sent to
teach me fatherhood; my wife was whom He sent to clear me of my alcoholism! The drug abuse was eliminated by 
the turmoil they created. I also believe the LORD sent me to the "Teen" room, at our church this past Sunday, for 
good reason. Is it just coincidence we had a Singspiration that evening (with a guitar in my hand)—Remembering 
back to when I was first led to the LORD? I don’t believe so! I also presented them the rough-draft portion of this 
testimony. It was the 1st time I had ever given my testimony in front of a group of people. Boy was I nervous, but 
I also realize that I am here to serve the LORD. Don’t ever underestimate the power of Jesus Christ! 

I also had a friend for many years, from Bradford Baptist Church who never gave up on me! He has been one of the
largest Christian influences in my life. Bradford Baptist was where I became a member prior to shipping off to 
bootcamp. This man was faithful in sending letters—praying for me! He kept writing and praying for over 15 years! 
He never gave up on me! But you know what—Neither did the Lord! This same man who never gave up on me is a
TRUE friend and continues to keep in contact—to this day—via email. I was reunited with him and his family this
past year and what a joyous occasion that was!

The LORD wants us to be persistent. Do we have the same opportunities to be a living testimony, an example and 
"TRUE" friends to people we know? I believe we do! My devotion on May 3, 2002, from my subscription to 
©GodToday, at http://www.godtoday.com/, sums things up really well! Please take the time to read the devotion 
below—with many thanks to Cheryl Curtis and ©GodToday for giving their permission to use this devotion in my 
testimony. I pray that this testimony will be an encouragement to all and may even win souls for Christ!
May God bless you all! 

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled
with compassion for him; he ran to his son threw his arms around him and
kissed him. Luke 15:20

Some view God as being so stern and rigid that if they turn their back on
Him to go their own direction there is no returning. It is certainly true
that there is plenty of trouble and heartache to be found when we walk out
from under the protection and care of our Father. But just like the prodigal
son He is watching for us to come walking down the road and back into His
arms, and we will most certainly return as sin quickly loses its appeal and
leaves nothing but a bitter taste in our mouths. We have become so
accustomed to conditional love. Love based on performance, it leaves us too
often feeling that when we mess up it's over. Failure is only permanent when
we refuse to get up and try again. God's mercy is greater than our sin. He
won't turn you away but instead bring you once again to His table. There is
no need to continue wasting your inheritance. Return to the love and
security you've known in your Father's house.

Prayer--
Thank you for your unconditional love and mercy. I am not worthy of it but
still you have extended it to me. Forgive me for walking away from the
everlasting love and security I have received from you. Amen.

He has done—and continues to do—Great Things!

Love In Christ,

Scott A. Jackson
sajackson@prexar.com

 

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