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Since I was 15 or so (I am 26 now) I have led a pretty bad life, I remember
when I was real little going to church, and even as a teenager going to
things like "Teens for Christ" I got saved back then. I didn't really
realize what I was doing at the time. So I continued on living a life that
I thought was right. I didn't really know any different, so I got involved
with boys. I got pregnant when I was 15, and the end result was an
abortion. At the time, I didn't really understand what that meant, I knew I
was killing a baby, but I was still a baby. My choices were an abortion or
have my stepmother (we did not get along) raise this child, and knowing the
way she treated me, there was no way I was going to let her do that.
At the age of 17 I got pregnant again, by a guy that I thought would
stick by me. Wrong! He told everybody the baby wasn't his, I was a junior
in high school at the time. I ended up quitting school, it was to hard for me
to go. I have a beautiful daughter who is 8 years old now. But I was still
to young to be having kids. Anyway, so then at 19 I got pregnant again, by
a guy that I thought I loved, but he was bad news and I knew that. He had
hit me a few times, and I didn't want a baby growing up with a father like
that. But I stuck it out and now I have a 6 year old son.
I spent alot of my life trying to fill this hole I had within me, with
guys and drinking and drugs. I was very depressed more than half of
the time, and tried to cover it with partying all the time. I got
saved and baptized in 95, I did good for about a week, then went back
to my same old lifestyle.
So here I am, 26 years old and in February 2000 is when I gave my life
to Christ, once again. I had gotten into more drugs (cocaine) and I hid it
very well, not many people would even guess I did such things. I remember
after nights of partying, and trying to fall asleep at 8 in the morning,
with my heart pounding so loud and hard, I wondered if I was going to wake
up again if I fell asleep. You hear of movie stars dying from that stuff
all the time. So I got up that afternoon, so tired and I looked horrible, I
looked in the mirror (which was hard for me to do, I was so ashamed) But I
looked into my eyes, and I saw how sad I was, and how bad I felt and how
sorry I was, and I cried and I cried, and I said Jesus please help me, I
don't want to be like this. It seemed as though I was in the bathroom for
ever crying.
A few days later, I met up with a girl that got me to go to church with her
a few times, a couple of years prior. She is now my best friend.
(besides Jesus of course:) Anyway, My children and I go to church regularly
now, and it's hard to believe, but that hole I had all these years is filled.
Jesus saved me from myself that day, He grabbed a hold of me tight, and is
not going to let go, and for Him I am so thankful. So if you have been
trying to fill that void in your life with something other than Christ, you
might as well give up, no man, woman, child, drug, beer, etc. nothing will
fill it but Jesus Christ, He loves us all so much.
Please, if your not saved, ask Jesus into your heart. He is the only way.
I hope my testimony will help someone else, All the Glory be to God! |
