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IF YOU WERE TO ASK ME WHEN I GOT SAVED I WOULD SAY
"WHICH TIME?" *smile*
THE PROBLEM LIES WITHIN - IT'S CALLED SIN
I have always believed in God and I always knew Jesus was his son and
was born of a virgin. I knew he died on the cross and rose from the
dead. You see, I had religious education. That is when it was allowed in
school, along with prayer. I went to church...sometimes. So I knew all
the right things to know - I just didn't understand how they applied to
me personally.
The first time I went forward to accept Jesus I was about 14 and knew I
was supposed to do that. (that wasn't when) And I was dunked in the
water. When I was 18, I saw a timeline from creation all the way to the
new heaven and new earth. That was the first time I can remember hearing
of the rapture of the church. Something quickened in me. I believed it,
was awed by it. (then?) I think not but maybe. I went forward again
shortly after that. And dunked again. My life never really changed
though.
I had been married since I was 15 and divorced by age 21. I had
to know experience life so out in the workforce and world I went. And
brother did I go out in the world! But God was on my mind a lot of the
time - but not the center of my life for sure. What did He expect of my
anyway. It wasn't fair - I had to live a little didn't I? I was changing
diapers when my friends were going to proms. I wasn't that bad. Then I
discovered the bar scene, (the age of "discos") I discovered I was a
great dancer and thus began my downward spiral! This was going to make
up for all the proms I missed! I was a waitress at a popular restaurant
and was making pretty good money for a HS dropout. I was supporting my
little boy - had my granny living with me taking care of him. Life was
good. But I wasn't happy. I thought I was. Thought I had the world by
the tail, I did.
It was somewhere in here my mom and step dad found a little country church.
Independent fundamental Baptist church. I visited during a special cookout
they were having. Friendly little country church. The pastor and his wife
visited me and I gave my life to Christ. (that was the time, I think) But
trying to be a single mom and being told I shouldn't serve alcohol (the
restaurant where I worked and where the good ppl from church ate) served
drinks. I was told I should leave that job. That was my security - what
else could a HS dropout do? The preaching at church always made me feel
like I needed to get saved every Sunday. (most of the time anyway) So I
slipped slowly back out into the world and the bars. I was going to a
little country bar (I love country music) and this is where I met my next
hubby. Someone now to go to church with and, I wouldn't feel so bad being a
single amongst all the married people.
It was going to be ok - I could quit working and be a stay at home mom.
I would be approved of - no more serving alcohol. I thought well to do
this right I need to go forward....again. I'm not real sure where things
went wrong this time but they did! Two babies later I was getting another
divorce. And by this time I was fat too! He was back in the bars dancing
with all the slim pretty girls and here was fat soon to be "ex" following
him around! I told you I like country music - well my theme song became
"YOUR GOOD GIRL'S GONNA GO BAD" (you would really have to hear the whole
song to understand). I lost weight and showed him a thing or two!
(yeah right) Cut my nose off to spite my face? Don't get mad - get even?
(I usually did) Now I had to get another job - so what do I do? I start
bartending >>> I showed him - didn't I? Spiral down - down - down!!
Many years and many drinks later, Jesus penetrated my thick skull! And I
was drunk when He did it. I was sitting alone after hours at work - drunk
with the country music blaring on the jukebox and singing my heart out!
And I started crying and talking to the Lord. Really talking. And things
began to change in my life. Not overnight but pretty quickly. I went back
to school - got my GED - started college (all this in my late 30's - early
40's) and quit my job as a bartender and now I am in the medical profession.
I have recently rededicated my life to Him. Things are not a bed of roses
but I have peace in Christ and His love to get me through. l have to work on
some things but He is right here to help me. And He will not forsake me.
God is changing me from the inside out. ROMANS 12:2
Thanks for listening.
AND THAT WASN'T THE HALF OF IT - you don't have the time or
patience for it all.....
HEB. 8:12 "For I will forgive their wickedness and remember
their sins no more."
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